THINGS WE FIGHT ABOUT
15/12/2015 Tuesday, December 15, 2015; The Chic Site

By The Chic Site

When I mentioned the idea for this post to Dave he gave me the side eye. This is nothing new. In our long history together there has been many a side eye aimed in my direction. There have been a lot of… read the full article here!


MATE DEBATE: CAN YOU FORGIVE A CHEATER?
08/11/2015 Sunday, November 8, 2015; Romantic Reminders

CAN YOU FORGIVE

By Romantic Reminders

This Side

Infidelity claims the lives of successful relationships around the world every day. What we’re looking at today is whether or not the cheater should be forgiven.

Our steadfast stance on the matter is no, absolutely not – like the Swiss, we lend no quarter. Relationships are built on trust and respect, among a few other indispensable elements. These elements are the sum of a strong support foundation that can provide both guidance and backing for future challenges that couples may face. If your relationship is the kind where both parties are comfortable with the opposing person interacting intimately with other people then the ramifications of cheating do not exist. If, however, you are in a clearly determined monogamous relationship, then it is paramount to the well being of your person and to the relationship that you close that chapter in life and begin to move forward on to the next phase. By excusing your partner for having cheated, you have directly encouraged the dismantling of the sturdy foundation of which your relationship is built on, quite simply because your trust has been severed and you did nothing to stop the bleeding. In addition, there is a mega chance that once your partner has tasted the fruits of faithlessness, they will become a full blown repeat customer and cheat again. In no way shape or form will that serve any positive purpose towards the strengthening of your relationship and the love shared between the both parties. Simply put, you should not excuse your partner if they’ve engaged in infidelity, it’s a lose-lose no matter how you cut it.  

That Side

Put on your boxing gloves, folks; this one could get ugly! Can you forgive your partner for cheating on you? Oh. Fo. Sho. Unless you have some sort of predetermined agreement (in which case I believe “swinging” would be the word), cheating is not OK. But it ain’t a black and white, if/then statement (i.e. If you cheat, the relationship is over). It’s one of those “it depends” statement. You know–to exercise your brain! Here’s the deal: First off, all couples define cheating differently. Is cheating flirting? Making out? Staying over? Texting? Getting horizontal? Grinding? Becoming Facebook friends? This is an important definition, but for the purpose of the argument let’s just go with the home run. Cheating is having sex with a person who is not your partner. Ugh. Yeah, that’s a tough one to come back from, but cheating should not be the act that defines the future of your relationship. Here’s why: In some cases, cheating can basically be the cowardly way to convince you it’s over. Cheating can be the symptom of a failing relationship. Cheating can be a sticky affair, a premeditated, selfish act. In some cases, the relationship wounds caused by cheating are harder to heal, and in those cases, perhaps calling it quits is the better option. But in other cases, cheating is a short lapse in judgment. The result of a few too many gins and charm at just the right (wrong) time. An indication your relationship–or sex life–could use a little TLC. Yep, in other cases, cheating can actually be a catalyst to change and promote growth. Or, it can be the beginning of the end. See, it’s up to you how you decide to proceed if you get cheated on, and all this chitter-chatter about it being unforgivable gets in the way of making a decision that’s going to benefit you. So screw all the messages in our culture that say to end it despite the situation…that’s just gonna blur your vision. It is possible to forgive, and it is possible to heal. It doesn’t mean you have no backbone, it doesn’t mean “it’ll happen again,” and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Humans mess up, and sometimes forgiving them is the best route. Now back away from the burning barrel filled with their clothes and call a couples’ therapist!


THE #1 COMMUNICATION TRICK TO DEEPEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
01/11/2015 Sunday, November 1, 2015; MindBodyGreen

By MindBodyGreen

When most of my clients want to improve their communication skills at home or at work, they focus on how to better handle conflict. They want to have more empathy, to avoid being critical, or to make sure… read the full article here!


THE FINE LINE OF JEALOUSY
20/10/2015 Tuesday, October 20, 2015; Romantic Reminders

Green Monster

How can I show my love I am protective of her without coming off as the green monster?

Ah yes, the right amount of jealous. Tough line to walk. You don’t want to appear disinvested and apathetic, but you also don’t want to seem controlling or crazy. Like wine, sunshine, and an HBO series, a certain amount is good, but too much can lead to all sorts of terrible. That’s right: a healthy degree of jealousy shows that you care, you value your relationship, and that you don’t want to lose it to someone (or something) else. But extreme jealousy, and unhealthy reactions to it, can be highly destructive, both to your relationship and your glass coffee table.

Unless you and your love live in the wilderness and never encounter others, you’re both bound to feel jealous at times; so, rather than focusing on not feeling jealous, focus on having healthy reactions to your jealousy. Start by becoming familiar with the feeling, so you can recognize and be in control of it, rather than have it be in control of you. What do you notice when you imagine your love with someone else? Do you feel hot and pressured? Panicked, with tunnel vision? Then, try to stay with that feeling long enough to assess what a helpful reaction to it might be. Emotions are there to tell us something—in this case, to be on guard because your relationship is being threatened—but sometimes they lie. So, try to asses whether jealousy’s telling you the truth, or if it’s a knee-jerk reaction coming from a past experience (e.g. my last girlfriend was cheating on me) or an outdated cultural norm (e.g. men and women cannot be friends). Friends can be quite helpful in assessing valid versus destructive jealousy, so perhaps recruit the opinion of a trusted other.

You want jealousy to help your relationship by reminding you how much you value your partner; you don’t want it to push your partner away because they feel controlled or mistrusted. Aim to appear confident, protective, and attentive toward your love rather than anxious or territorial. For example, if you’re at a wedding and you see her being chatted up by a seemingly interested fellow, go over and be present. Introduce yourself with a smile, and put your arm around your love or on the small of her back to show the “threat” that you and your lass are more than friends. Ask your love how she’s doing–if she wants something to eat or drink. How her feet are doing. You want to show her you’re concerned about how she’s feeling, not that you’re concerned she’s going to cheat on you.

Afterward, or following any instance of jealousy where you’re unsure whether or not your reaction was helpful, discuss it with your partner. Tell her what your experience was–perhaps sharing your desire to leave her feeling protected and valued without feeling controlled–and ask her about hers. If she expresses dissatisfaction with your reaction, ask her how she would have preferred you’d handled things, and see how her suggestions fit for you. Ultimately, as per the golden rule of relationships, the best way to find a healthy balance around jealousy is to trial, discuss, refine, and repeat, all the while trying to practice patience and compassion toward your partner. Both the process and the outcome of the discussion are likely to benefit your relationship, and keep you from turning too (noticeably) green.

Warmly,
Megan Bruneau, M.A. RCC

Although many individuals share similar concerns relating to their relationship advice, no two persons or couples are the same. Romantic Reminders’ Registered Clinical Counsellor, Megan Bruneau, provides professional advice that some might find helpful influencing how they consider approaching their concern; however, her advice is by no means a substitute for couple’s therapy or one-on-one professional help. Megan advises all of her clients to seek relationship support in the form of a trained professional if their situation grants them the opportunity to do so. Additionally, if physical or emotional abuse, addictions, or mental illness are present in your relationship, this advice likely will not be suitable or sufficient for you. Instead, individual and couple therapy are strongly recommended.


6 GRANDMA-APPROVED DATING HABITS
16/10/2015 Friday, October 16, 2015; Elite Daily

By Elite Daily

When you think of the Millennial generation, the first word that comes to mind probably isn’t “traditional.” While we might enjoy stealing some styles from past decades, we’re not ones to look back on older generations and think, “Damn, I wish I had their lives.” Most of us feel quite comfortable here in the 21st century… read the full article here!


6 THINGS MEN COMPLAIN ABOUT IN MARRIAGE COUNSELING
10/10/2015 Saturday, October 10, 2015; Huffington Post

By Huffington Post

What do husbands talk about — and more pointedly, complain about — when they sit down with their partner and a marriage therapist? Below, three psychotherapists who work extensively with couples share the biggest issues that men say cause friction in their marriages… read the full article here!


10 SEX SECRETS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE I WAS MARRIED
02/10/2015 Friday, October 2, 2015; Huffington Post

By Huffington Post

I’m 41 years old, and I’ve been married to the same beautiful woman for almost two decades. Over the years I’ve had to work through some myths and misconceptions about sex. Many of these misconceptions started early, before I was married, and they’ve taken years to straighten out. If I could send ten sex and intimacy tips to myself before I was married, this is exactly what I’d say… read the full article here!


Crab Cake Poppers with Spicy Aioli
22/09/2015 Tuesday, September 22, 2015; Romantic Reminders

There is something innately romantic about crab. These are easy to make and very delicious. Pair them with a simple side salad and voila, a romantic dinner for two. Enjoy!

Crabcake Poppers FoodieCrush.com 0141 Crab Cake Poppers with Spicy Aioli

Find full recipe here.


 


TRAVELING AS TWO: New York City
15/09/2015 Tuesday, September 15, 2015; Romantic Reminders

nyc

By Romantic Reminders

New York, New York: its very mention brings to mind horse-drawn carriage rides through Central Park, the shimmering Manhattan skyline and romantic strolls along ritzy Fifth Avenue. It’s no coincidence some of the most iconic movie love scenes of all time have been filmed in NYC – it’s the perfect place to fall in love all over again.

PHOTO OPS:
Rockefeller Center’s 70th-floor Top of the Rock viewing deck is an obvious choice for a sweeping Manhattan backdrop, but those opposed to waiting in line and paying an entry fee should think outside the box: Battery Park gives you views across the Hudson with the Statue of Liberty in the distance; a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge offers an unbeatable view of Manhattan; and of course you must take a snapshot in front of the famous LOVE sculpture in Midtown West (1359 Avenue of the Americas).

DINING FOR TWO:
The best restaurants in New York are not necessarily the most expensive ones, but a special occasion calls for a little extravagance: book the tasting menu at the three-Michelin starred Eleven Madison Park, or reserve a table at celebrity chef Daniel Boulud’s highly acclaimed Daniel, or the Michelin-starred Gramercy Tavern. Those who want an unforgettable view with their meal can try the 35th-floor Asiate restaurant at the Mandarin Oriental NYC, or the iconic River Café in Brooklyn, located right on the Hudson and offering incomparable views of Manhattan. For a romantic lunch, take your lover to the Central Park Boathouse, located on the park’s most picturesque pond.

ROMANTIC WALKS:
Central Park is of course the quintessential spot for an unforgettable New York stroll with your amore, but for a more intimate option, head to the fragrant flowerbeds and trickling fountains of Central Park’s lesser-known Conservatory Gardens (enter at 5th Ave and 105th; closed Mondays). If you find yourself in Brooklyn, visit Prospect Park and walk through 585 acres of grassy knolls and tree-lined pathways. And for a romantic city-walk, and you can’t go wrong with the High Line, an elevated one-mile walkway that snakes through downtown Manhattan and offers views over the Hudson River – head back down to street level in Chelsea and go to Chelsea Market for a coffee and a sweet treat. For waterfront walking, explore Hudson River Park in Manhattan’s Lower West Side.

WHERE TO STAY:
There are literally hundreds of hotels in New York City, so where you stay is really a matter of taste. Those who prefer to go boutique can try the Gramercy Park Hotel, The Nomad, The Mondrian, The Mark, or The Hudson. For old-school, five-star hotels near Central Park, book into The Plaza, The Carlyle, or the Ritz-Carlton Central Park. There are plenty of boutique four-star hotels in Manhattan, too: The Bentley is popular for its rooftop bar and views over the Hudson and Queensboro Bridge, while Hotel Giraffe offers guests complementary wine and cheese evenings in its lobby.

WHERE TO SHOP:
Designer-label lovers will want to hit the boutiques and department stores of Madison Avenue and Fifth Avenue. Those who prefer boutique shopping and less mainstream labels should visit SoHo’s shopping district (running from Broadway West to Sixth Avenue), while NoLIta and Little Italy are great for designer vintage boutiques and lesser-known independent designers. The East Village is where you’ll find quirky hippie and punk-inspired clothing and furniture, and If you’ve got time to kill at Grand Central, check out the retail shops, selling everything from clothing and accessories to gifts, flowers and gourmet food.

GETTING AROUND:
NYC subways may not be glamorous, but even celebs rely on this trusty mode of transportation during New York’s peak traffic hours; you can purchase a subway pass at most stations. If you’re taking a taxi, it’s a good idea to check the location and address of your destination before you hop in; drivers are not as knowledgeable as you might expect. If you’d like something a little more upscale than a yellow cab, simply use your Uber app. To get to and from the airport on the cheap, consider booking one of the NY Airport Shuttle Buses, which depart every 15 minutes to and from Newark, JFK and La Guardia airports, picking up and dropping off passengers at major Manhattan destinations such as Grand Central and Battery Park.

NIGHTLIFE:
Take your sweetie to a Broadway show and squeeze in another photo op with a walk through Times Square en route to the theatre district, or check out some live jazz after dark – Blue Water Grill in Union Square or Café Carlyle at the Carlyle Hotel are intimate and couple-friendly options. Sportier couples can get into the swing of things at Chelsea Piers driving range, overlooking the Hudson (open until midnight). Be sure to check out a few of New York’s sexy speakeasy bars, mostly found in the East Village and SoHo, offering plenty of dark corners to snuggle in as you sip your bespoke cocktails. Our favourite is Angel’s Share in the East Village, located behind a secret doorway on the second floor of a Japanese restaurant (8 Stuyvesant Street).

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